The question of how to start over after divorces often arise from situations where one party or the other was the victim of abuse. There is a tendency for those involved in these kinds of relationships to blame each other, rather than trying to seek healing within themselves. They fail to see that by forgiving each other, they are opening themselves up to be healed by understanding the mistakes that were made during the relationship. By forgiving each other, you may find yourself capable of better expressing yourself and in turn, being able to express your spouse’s mistakes without becoming defensive or angry. Forgiveness is a key ingredient to rebuilding trust after divorce.
Another question of how to start over after divorces are one concerning children and custody. You must be cognizant of the fact that although the court will likely order joint physical custody, this does not mean that you and your spouse will be walking away from the house with kids. You must both agree on a schedule for visitation, and the judge will consider what is in the best interest of the children when making this decision. If you have children, or if your spouse has children, it is essential that you come to an agreement regarding custody and visitation.
A third question of how to start over after divorces often come up about assets and liabilities. These issues must be addressed in a civilized and legal fashion, so it is very important that you and your spouse have come to an agreement about these matters. The best way to do this is through a full and thorough financial disclosure process. This means that all of the assets that are jointly held and not jointly controlled must be disclosed, including bank accounts, investments, retirement funds, real estate, cars, motorcycles, holiday homes, shares in a business, and more. It is vital that you and your spouse each present a financial statement so that the courts can evaluate the assets and liabilities fairly. Even if one party is bankrupt, his/her debts will be subtracted from the other party’s assets, and that debt will be added to the ex-spouse’s debt and vice versa.